School Counseling and Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a professional’s promise to respect clients’ privacy by not 
disclosing anything revealed during counseling, except under agreed upon conditions.

To protect the counseling relationship with students, I try to keep communication between students and myself confidential. 
unless

• anyone's health or safety is at risk
• the student gives consent

Helpful Tips & Useful Links
Below are numerous topics that may be of concern as your child goes through the elementary years. You will find strategies and articles about each of the topics.


ADHD/Focusing
Parenting the Child with ADHD  
ADHD Parenting Tips  
4 Ways to Help your Child Focus 
There are many ways parents can help a child exhibiting symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder such as 

• Providing consistency by following predictable routines for getting ready for school, homework, play, bedtime, etc.
• Model and practice appropriate organizational skills and help your child maintain their organizational systems
• Help your child use large monthly calendars for planning after-school activities and when tests and assignments occur
• Use timers as a visual reminder for your child when they need to complete a task
• Give specific, concise directions to your child in positive ways (phrase directions as what do you want to happen rather than what you don't want to happen)
• Help practice problem solving skills with your child
• Give your child a chance to practice using appropriate social skills
• Help your child make healthy food choices
• Use encouragement and positive reinforcement

Anger Management 
All About Anger for Kids 
Learning to manage anger is an important life skill that needs to be taught to and practiced by all students. Discussing and modeling appropriate ways you as parents handle anger is a great way to help kids managing their own anger. There are many ways you can practice managing anger with your child, including 

• Take a break (moving away from what makes you angry)
• Do a physical activity (shoot hoops, do jumping jacks, or run the track)
• Take deep breaths
• Count to 10
• Squish Play-Doh
• Color your feelings
• Write your feelings in a journal entry, story, or poem
• Read a quiet book to yourself (When Sophie Gets Angry is a good one!)
• Positive self-talk (I can control my anger...)

Anxiety 
Tips for Parents and Caregivers of Anxious Children 
It is normal for every person to have some amount of anxiety from time to time, but when anxiety begins affecting your child's school and home functioning, there are many things you can do to help your child in addition to possibly consulting a mental health professional. 

• Listen to your child's worries and fears and remind them that they are not alone and that other kids have worries too
• Help children address their concerns and if they are not realistic, help them see the truth
• Help your child gradually ease into new situations that may cause anxiety and provide encouragement when they are in these situations
• Practice relaxing including deep breathing, counting to 10, visualizations (taking a pretend field trip to the relaxing beach or a peaceful meadow), and listening to calming music
• Encourage structured play dates or extracurricular activities if your child has an anxious temperament
• Promote your child's independence and build on their strengths

Bullying Prevention 
Information and Videos on Bullying Topics 
We work hard to prevent bullying at our school but we also want our students to be prepared and know what to do if bullying occurs. At our school we teach DEBUG- a strategy where students learn how to handle behaviors that bother them. 

College and Career 
Information about preparing children for college
Information about saving for your child's college fund
Career interest inventory for kids
Even though your child is still in elementary school, it's never too early to start talking about college and career! There are many ways parents can help children create a college-going culture!

• Talk about your education and career
• Discuss a variety of other careers so your child knows there are many options out there
• Talk about your child's college and career goals
• Introduce your child to colleges and after high-school training programs by visiting websites together
• Encourage your child to do the best they can now in order to prepare for the future and develop his or her strengths

Conflict Resolution   
Article about conflict resolution 
Conflicts are a part of our lives every single day and because of this, we want our students to develop conflict resolution skills to help in these situations. There are many choices your child can make when in conflict in order to gain a win-win solution. You can help your child role play and decide when to use the following choices when in conflict: 

• Talk it out (use an inside voice)
• Say "Please stop"
• Walk away and stay away
• Ignore...don't react
• Cool off (count to 10, take deep breaths)
• Say "I'm sorry"
• Share or take turns
• Use an I-message (I feel ____ when ____ and I need ____.)
• Have a Peer Mediation

Developing Self-Esteem 
Ways to Help Develop Your Child's Self-Esteem  
Every parent wants a happy, healthy child with a strong sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Here are some ways parents can support and grow their child's self-esteem: 

• Choose your words carefully and make sure to provide encouragement for your child
• Model positive self-esteem and positive self-talk
• Create a positive home environment where students feel safe and loved
• Allow your child to become involved in cooperative activities such as volunteering for the good of others in order to feel good about themselves
• Help your child give others compliments and make others feel good in order to trigger positive feelings amongst themselves

Divorce/Separation 
Resource for Children and Families Going Through Divorce/Separation 

• Because lots of things will be changing in your child's life, try to keep things as consistent as possible for your child; routines = stability = safety
• Listen to your child's feelings and make sure they know it's okay to share their feelings
• Refrain from speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child
• Allow kids to only have to worry about "kid worries"
• When kids ask questions, tell the truth in age appropriate ways
• Make sure your child is not the "middle man"
• Remind your child that he or she is very loved and never has to choose one parent over the other

Grief and Loss 
Resource for parents for helping children cope with grief and loss 
Losing a loved one can be extremely hard for individuals of any age. Below are a few ways parents can support children through this difficult time

• Understand that children cope with death differently and may have a range of reactions (including emotional shock, regression, acting out and explosive emotions, and questioning) depending on their developmental level
• Answer your child's questions and help them understand what happened with truthful, developmentally appropriate responses
• Allow children to grieve and tell their story, listen and validate their feelings, and show extra love and care
• Understand that grief is a process and allow it to happen as the child needs
• Realize that as children move into new developmental stages, they begin to understand the loss in a new way and may need extra support
• Be aware of your own need to grieve as a parent; adults who get help working through their grief are much more able to help their child through the grieving process

Homework Hints 
Homework Tips for Families 
To help ensure your child finds success with homework, there are many things you can do to help! In addition to modeling getting your own work done in a timely fashion and modeling organization, you can help children in many other ways such as 

• Allow your child to re-energize themselves after school by taking a break, having a snack, or playing a game before beginning homework
• Create a routine for homework each night using the same time and place each day
• Encourage children to use planners to stay organized with assignments
• Have a set place for homework like a big desk with all necessary materials available such as pencils, paper, books, and calculators; make sure the area is free of distractions
• Sometimes a break may help with concentration during homework time

Internet Safety/Cyber-bullying 

Information on internet safety and cyber-bullying 
There are many ways you can help keep your child safe when using the internet, including

• Discuss internet safety with your child
• Monitor your child's internet activity by making sure they use a computer that is in a common area such as a family room rather than a child's bedroom
• Remind your child to never share personal information (name, address, phone number, school, etc.) with anyone on the internet and never to agree to meet anyone on the internet
• Do not allow your child to enter private chat rooms

Making Friends 
Article about Helping Your Child Make Friends 
Every parent wants their child to have friends, and if this is an area your child needs help with, there are many things you can do to help, including 

• Give your child many chances for socialization, including joining an after school club or an extra-curricular activity 
• Schedule play dates with friends from the neighborhood or friends from school
• Role play meeting a new child with your child, greeting each other in a friendly way and making conversation
• Practice partaking in conversation with your child and other social skills
• Model for your child how to be a good friend and make a friend

School Transitions 
Sending Your Child Off to School for the First Time 
Supporting Your Child During the Transition to Middle School  
Ideas to Support Your Child in School Transitions 
Transitions into elementary school or middle school can cause worries for children. There are many ways a parent can help during these transitional times by 

• Listening and validating your child's feelings about the change
• Let your children know you care about them with extra hugs/nice notes and support
• Visit your child's school together
• Help your child feel prepared in every way s/he can (school supplies, school clothes, healthy breakfast, etc.)
• Explain the rules/procedures of school and how things will work and role play going to school and what things may be like
• Allow your child to possibly sign-up for an extra-curricular activity in order to make friends and feel like s/he belongs

Stress Management 
Coping Skills for Kids Site 
Stress and Students 
Just like adults, difficult, anxiety provoking situations can add stress to a child's life. There are many ways you can help your child cope with stressful situations, including 

• Practice visualizations (take a pretend field trip to the relaxing beach or a peaceful meadow)
• Listen to calming music
• Get lots of rest
• Eat healthy foods
• Drink plenty of water
• Use positive self-talk (I can...)
• Think positive thoughts
• Focus on something good that happened that day

MORE HELPFUL LINKS TO TOPICS: 

Anxiety
Autism Slideshow
Back to School Tips
Bad Day
Bibliotherapy: Healing Through Books
Building Resiliency in Your Child
Bullying Information
College Preparation
Career Preparation 
Coping with a Crisis or Disaster
Creative Consequences 
Cyberbullying & Internet Safety
Dealing with Feelings
Death/Loss/Grief
Fighting Disordered Eating
Gaming Safety Tips 
Go Girl Go!
Health/Nutrition
Helping Your Child with Test Taking 
iMom - Parenting Information
Kids Against Bullying
Love and Logic  
Online Safety
Reality Check
Social Skills  
Stages of Grief
Stress Management Strategies for children and adults

Morning Madness Tips to Help Get Kids to School on Time
1. Getting Kids Up: Morning Routine Must Become Way of Life
Parents can unwittingly cause morning madness by not
instilling that the routine is a family requirement and not an option. A
non-negotiable routine must be established, and consequence discussed and
determined. (i.e. If you don't get up on first call, your bedtime is 15 minutes
earlier tonight). It's the "wiggle room" that causes melt-downs and tantrums on
the very morning parents have a "must make" meeting.
 2. Stagger Wake-Up Times  -If you've got more than one kid in the house, and
especially if you have a large family, consider staggering wakeup times for
greater efficiency. Start with kids who need assistance first, or the ones who
are real sleepyheads who move at a snail's pace come mornings.
 3.  Clothing Wars Can Be Conquered With Proper Planning
Clothing, down to clean socks, underwear and shoes, and
even matching hair accessories should be laid out each night before bed.
Youngsters can play a role in choosing the outfit, but no changes are allowed
once their head hits the pillow. And, then stick with it! The only exceptions
should be an unknown tear or stain, or surprise change in the weather. 
4. Getting Kids Up: Breakfast Choices Should Be Determined In Advance
One mom swears by weekly breakfast menus; other adheres
to cereal and fruit. Yet another has her kids eat the $1 breakfast at school
each morning. Some daycares offer breakfast for kids; others allow parents to
bring in a morning meal. Breakfast is important--some experts argue that it is
the most important meal of the day, so your kids need a nutritious start
each a.m. However, that start shouldn't put parents in a work bind or make kids late for school.
 5. Only Do What's Really Important -Some parents set their kids to fail with their morning routines by tackling on unexpected chores and duties, which causes whines and a mad rush to end up on time. Consider creating a checklist of what absolutely must be done each morning, then forget the rest. If you want your child to make his bed every morning, then make that a requirement. However, cleaning the cat box can surely wait until a child gets home.
 6. Getting Kids Up: Snatch and Go Theory Really Does Work
It's just not enough to get dressed and eat. How many times have kids missed the bus because they couldn't find their homework sheet or didn't have their backpack put together? If you drive your kids, then put their organized backpacks in the car the night before. Lunches should also be
prepared just before bed and easily grabbed from the fridge ready-to-go. Jackets should be kept in a central location. The "snatch and go" method can help speed up your mornings. 
7. Getting Kids Up: Exception Mornings Should Be Planned As Well
One way to make it easier for kids to get up in the mornings is to create occasional "kids get up...NOT" day on occasion as a reward. If it's a school holiday, lazy weekend opportunity, or just about any
reason at all, parents can make a special celebration out of the exception. The
"not" day also serves to reinforce the lesson that normal mornings have a
schedule and expectation; and that occasionally everyone gets a break from the
routine.
 8. Getting Kids Up: Instill Self Responsibility
Why does a parent have to wake kids up anyway? Except
for youngsters, kids can learn to awaken by an alarm clock and get themselves up without mom or dad hovering and yelling, "Are you up yet?" Let them decide what is the best time for the alarm to go off and get ready on time. If this means Erica doesn't get her hair braided or Sam doesn't get second helpings on cereal, encourage them to set their alarm 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. Cause and effect...it's a good lesson to learn!
 9. Getting Kids Up: Model Morning Behavior
And, finally, parents really can help to determine whether their kids become morning risers or morning whiners. If parents moan and groan, are always frantic, grumpy and running late themselves, then how can they really expect anything more of their own kids? Try to  get up earlier yourself, start that coffee or do 10 minutes of exercise, and then show your positive attitude and really mean it when you greet your kids with "Good Morning!"
 10. Designate an area for all essentials that can eliminate
the crazed morning syndrome when you're trying to leave. Shoes, backpacks, car keys, cell phones, purses, etc., should be placed in this area every day,
always, so they are always in place and ready for action. Keep a cell phone
charger in this area so your phone is charged for the day. Not having to hunt
down keys or other last-minute essentials is a time and blood pressure saver,
for sure!
 For more information, visit http://childcare.about.com/od/behaviors/tp/gettingkidsup.htm

TIPS  FOR  KINDERGARTEN  PARENTS

Getting Ready for School

• Establish routines. Introduce an earlier bedtime several weeks before school starts.
• Practice the morning routine of dressing and eating breakfast.
• Review several times with your child how he or she will get to and from school.
• Provide your child with a healthy breakfast before school and a nutritious lunch.
• In the fall, limit extracurricular activities while your child adjusts to the school routines.
• Teach your child:

*To recite full name, address, and phone number.
*To be responsible for and to recognize their own belongings. You can help by labeling  ALL their belongings (clothes, backpack, coat, gloves…).
*To attend to own personal needs: toileting, using a tissue, and washing face and hands.

• Choose clothing for your kindergartener that is “easy on, easy off”. Choose pants with elastic

waistbands, not zippers and snaps, or overalls, for example, and no belts. Boots must be large  enough so the child can put them on independently.

• To prevent your child from missing out on Physical Education classes, let your child wear sneakers every day. They cannot participate in clogs, sandals, or other types of loose shoes or boots.
• Read to your child daily. Reading increases vocabulary. Read everything and everything from  books to the cereal box!
• Realize that kindergarten is different from preschool. Classes are larger, so expecting constant individualized attention for your child is unrealistic. Nevertheless, know that your child’s teacher  wants to get to know you and your child, to find out how best to understand each student in her care.
• Together parents and teachers make a team. The year is about cooperation and trust. If something may be affecting your child, let the teacher know. If you have concerns, share them.

Make sure that your child has time to play after school and on weekends. Now that your child spends more time in a structured school environment, you should allow more free time at home for play. Kindergarten homework includes playtime!

• Help your child develop strategies to resolve peer conflicts and to know when to ask an adult for help.
• Promote the attitude of respect for rights and properties of others.

Supporting the Learning Process

•  Be calm and positive when you speak about school in the child’s presence.
•  Encourage your child to share school experiences with you. Take an active interest in your children’s schooling. Ask specific questions about what happens at school each day and how your children feel about it.
•  Get involved with the parent-teacher organization. Ask your child’s teacher what their volunteer  opportunities are in the classroom.
• Treat going to school as part of the normal course of events that will be a positive experience for your child. A calm, matter-of-fact, positive attitude will best help your child get the most out of Kindergarten.

Tips for Parents

Study Skills Basics:

·         Have all supplies needed for school.

·         Write all assignments in your agenda.

·         Keep all notebooks and materials organized.

·         Prioritize your assignments (what needs to be completed first).
·         Complete and turn in assignments on time. (Parents can verify grades on assignments through the Parent Portal.)

·         Make sure you study in a quiet place. Avoid having things at your work area that could distract you, such as video games, televisions, cell phones, etc.

Test Taking Strategies:
·         Read all directions carefully.
·         Answer all the questions. Do not spend too much time on any one question. If you get stuck, then take a guess and mark the question.

·         When you are finished answering all questions, go back and review the questions that you guessed on the answers. Only change an answer if you are sure it is wrong.

·         Before you hand in your test, go back and double check each answer.

·         Use information in the test questions and answers as a source (a place to get information). You might even find the answer to one question somewhere else on the test.

·         Eat a healthy breakfast

·         Arrive at school on time

·         Get a good night’s sleep the night before
Some Great Questions for Parents to Ask Children:
(from schoolfamily.com)

·         "I'm really proud of how well you're doing in school.  What are you studying these days that really interests you?"

·         "If you could make up a teacher from scratch, a perfect teacher, what would he or she be like?"

·         "What do you think about your grades?  How does your report card/progress report compare with what you were expecting?"

·         "I really like the way you choose such nice friends.  What qualities do you look for in a friend?"

·         "I know you really like your new friend (insert name), but whenever I see him/her, s/he's being disrespectful to adults.  Why don't you tell me what I'm missing?  What do you like about him/her that I'm not seeing?"

·         "How's it going with your activities and schoolwork?  What would make it easier for you to handle your schedule and responsibilities?"

Internet Safety Tips:

•       When using social networking sites and/or blogs, discuss the dangers and repercussions with your child.
  ·         Enter into a “safe-computing contract” with your child about general computer use.
  ·         Explain the following don’ts to your child: Don’t post personal information (this includes personal information that may be revealed through photos). Don’t meet in person with anyone you first “met” online. Don’t respond to harassing or ruse comments posted on your profile.
  ·         Enable internet filtering features if they are available from your internet provider.
  ·         Install monitoring software.
  ·         Know each of your child’s passwords, screen names and account information. Ensure that your child knows not to give their password out to anyone else.
  ·         Place the computer in a family area of the household and do not allow private usage.
  ·         Monitor what your child’s friends are posting regarding your child’s identity.
  ·         Know what other access your child has to computers and cell phones.
  ·         Report all inappropriate non-criminal behavior to the site through their reporting procedures.
  ·         Report criminal behavior to the appropriate law-enforcement agency.
  ·         Remember that people on the internet are not always who they appear to be.

---